The Fight is Gone

I can't deal with anything more. I'm at my limit.

If I have another year like the last 1 1/2 have been...heck, if I have another day that is similar to the last 1 1/2 years.

I've lost my son, for all purposes. He won't speak to us about 90% of the time. He's always had problems, but now he seems like a totally different person in many ways.

My career...what can I say, 9 1/2 years with one place...to see the entire company just crumble has been heartbreaking.

I love doing foster care and can't do it any longer. I miss it more than I thought I would, really. I love having kids all around...and being busy running here and there.

And, I want my health back...to walk normally, to be able to lift things, clean my own house, take long walks, run, etc etc.

It's all gone and out of my reach. I no longer know what my purpose is in life. I no longer have a purpose in life. And, I don't want to live this life. I'm not going to live this life. I give up. The fight is over.