Emotionally/Mood I feel more like ME than I have in...well, probably since being diagnosed with PM. It has been very eye opening to see how the very drugs that are to help you with your physical health can cause so much emotional harm. Nevertheless, I'm feeling better...like me again (emotionally). Now, if we could only get this body to work right again. I am starting to accept the idea that I'm never going to run again and do many of the things I use to do...but, there are some things that just need to change. This medication has caused sooo much weight gain and I really need to drop the weight...it's more than a physical/how I look thing...it's also just not healthy to be overweight like this.
Every year on Thanksgiving it has been our tradition to make a big pot of Chili and spend the day putting up Christmas decorations. Well, since it's just me and my daughter this year, we won't be doing that (I can't physically put up the decorations, or get them out of the attic). It is a bit sad, a tradition lost kind of thing. Another thing lost to the polymyositis. Of course, she's hitting her teenage years and making a new tradition of sleeping all day. ha.
Everyone enjoy your day...Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving 2010
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
CellCept
Wow, so it's been a long time.
The last few weeks have been pretty hard. I'm still having to take IVIg each month for the Polymyositis. None of the oral medications have been enough to keep things under control. Even with the IVIg, my CPK numbers have been a bit above normal, though nothing like when first diagnosed. Anyway, my doctor had me start on CellCept. I read alot about it before hand. Even amongst the side effects that sounded terrible, there seemed to be lots of people that have responded really well to the CellCept. And, it was my last option. So, I started it, but it caused some depression...so, she took me off of it for a couple of weeks to see if things with the depression leveled out. It did, but I wanted to try it again, so she agreed. Next time, maybe I should listen to the doctor. I spiraled down very quickly into a severe depression. I'm off of the CellCept for good now. What the future holds, I don't know.
Even with the CellCept gone now, the depression has not lifted...well, may be a little, but definitely not enough. I'm living in this dark, miserable world that I wish to leave...I'm so very tired of trying this or that medication...and tired of waking up in the morning and hoping that I'll be able to get out of it without trouble...or that I'll make it through the entire work day...and then coming home and barely getting dinner fixed when all I really want to do is park it on the couch or bed and sleep...and stop hurting (physically and emotionally)
The last few weeks have been pretty hard. I'm still having to take IVIg each month for the Polymyositis. None of the oral medications have been enough to keep things under control. Even with the IVIg, my CPK numbers have been a bit above normal, though nothing like when first diagnosed. Anyway, my doctor had me start on CellCept. I read alot about it before hand. Even amongst the side effects that sounded terrible, there seemed to be lots of people that have responded really well to the CellCept. And, it was my last option. So, I started it, but it caused some depression...so, she took me off of it for a couple of weeks to see if things with the depression leveled out. It did, but I wanted to try it again, so she agreed. Next time, maybe I should listen to the doctor. I spiraled down very quickly into a severe depression. I'm off of the CellCept for good now. What the future holds, I don't know.
Even with the CellCept gone now, the depression has not lifted...well, may be a little, but definitely not enough. I'm living in this dark, miserable world that I wish to leave...I'm so very tired of trying this or that medication...and tired of waking up in the morning and hoping that I'll be able to get out of it without trouble...or that I'll make it through the entire work day...and then coming home and barely getting dinner fixed when all I really want to do is park it on the couch or bed and sleep...and stop hurting (physically and emotionally)
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Life with Polymyositis
Each day that I wake up I wonder what the day will bring. Will I walk a bit better, or will I even be able to lift my leg up? The side-effects of the medications are almost as bad as the disease itself. Interesting...I have a disease characterized by muscle weakness and one of the medications that I have to take to treat it can cause side effects of .....muscle weakness. Go figure. The side effects are numerous...weight gain, hair loss, acne, blurred vision, insomnia, mood swings, etc.
Since being diagnosed with Polymyositis I've been diagnosed with several other things...effects of the disease or the medications: high blood pressure, migraines, neuropathy in my hands and feet...and several other things.
Since being diagnosed with Polymyositis I've been diagnosed with several other things...effects of the disease or the medications: high blood pressure, migraines, neuropathy in my hands and feet...and several other things.
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