CellCept

Wow, so it's been a long time.

The last few weeks have been pretty hard. I'm still having to take IVIg each month for the Polymyositis. None of the oral medications have been enough to keep things under control. Even with the IVIg, my CPK numbers have been a bit above normal, though nothing like when first diagnosed. Anyway, my doctor had me start on CellCept. I read alot about it before hand. Even amongst the side effects that sounded terrible, there seemed to be lots of people that have responded really well to the CellCept. And, it was my last option. So, I started it, but it caused some depression...so, she took me off of it for a couple of weeks to see if things with the depression leveled out. It did, but I wanted to try it again, so she agreed. Next time, maybe I should listen to the doctor. I spiraled down very quickly into a severe depression. I'm off of the CellCept for good now. What the future holds, I don't know.

Even with the CellCept gone now, the depression has not lifted...well, may be a little, but definitely not enough. I'm living in this dark, miserable world that I wish to leave...I'm so very tired of trying this or that medication...and tired of waking up in the morning and hoping that I'll be able to get out of it without trouble...or that I'll make it through the entire work day...and then coming home and barely getting dinner fixed when all I really want to do is park it on the couch or bed and sleep...and stop hurting (physically and emotionally)